14. Building a Happiness Ritual: One Small Moment That’s Just for You

14. Building a Happiness Ritual: One Small Moment That’s Just for You

Welcome to the blog version of the Redefining Happiness Podcast. I’m Karen Castillo, and in this post, we're exploring something that might seem small but can change how your whole day feels. Your personal happiness ritual.

If you’ve ever wished you had something steady to come back to on busy or difficult days, or something grounding to start your morning with, this post is for you. 

Let’s talk about what a happiness ritual actually is

It’s different from a habit or a routine made for getting things done. Or even from a happiness habit that’s meant to trigger positive emotions throughout your day. It’s not doing something on autopilot. A happiness ritual is something you choose, on purpose, in the moment, as a way to pause and reconnect with how you want to feel.

It can be something you do to signal a shift from your physically and mentally busy self, to the you that’s actually living this life. There are phases in our lives that are hectic and centered on others from the moment we open our eyes, until after we go to sleep, exhausted and suffering through stress dreams. We get so caught up in our responsibilities, deadlines, to-do lists, and everyone else’s needs that we forget that we are actual individuals “living” a life. We make everyone and everything else a priority.

If you’re in a phase like this, create a ritual that says, I’m important too. That reminds you that life is more than just getting through the day. Something that triggers a break from everything else, even if it’s only for a minute.

A happiness ritual can also be a way to pause and reconnect with how you want to feel. Or even something you do just because it feels good.

You’re not doing it because it’s part of a routine. You’re doing it because it’s a signal to slow down, tune in, and remember what matters. In that way, rituals are the opposite of habits. They’re not meant to be something you do automatically without thinking. They’re meant to interrupt your day in a good way.

Sometimes it’s a moment you start the day with, a way of saying, “Before I let this day carry me away, I’m going to remember to focus on living, not just on doing.”

Sometimes it’s something you reach for when the day feels too fast or too loud, a personal safety net to help you reset.

Other times it’s a way to wind down and create closure. A signal to your body and mind, we’re done with everything else for today, let it go, the rest of today is just for me.

It can be one minute long. It can be five. It can be a part of something you already do, like making your morning coffee or taking your nightly shower. You don’t need a full routine. You don’t need a special environment. You just need a moment that’s repeated enough that your body starts to recognize it. And when that happens, it becomes a cue for calm or joy or whatever it is you need more of in your life.

Here are a few examples and ideas to help you find your own:

• Sitting in your car for one full minute before walking into work, just breathing and listening to a song you love. A reminder to yourself, this is a day in your life, not just a workday.
• Stepping outside when you feel overwhelmed, and noticing three things around you: a color, a shape, and a sound. Then a few deep breaths to center yourself.
• When your day is done, light a candle to signal to yourself, and everyone else in the house, that you’re done with responsibility and are moving into your quiet, unwind time.
• A glass of wine and a call to your bestie on a set night of the week.
• Or if you’re a mermaid like my friend Rhonda, time set aside in nature with your paddleboard

It’s less about what you do and more about how you do it. The key is that it feels deliberate. A little, or not so little, interruption to your day that centers you.

Why This Works

There’s something calming about things that repeat. Our brains like predictability, especially when life feels unpredictable. When you have a ritual, no matter how small, it creates a sense of grounding. Of control. The feeling of “This is something I can count on.”

And when that ritual is tied to happiness, it becomes something your brain begins to associate with comfort, or fun, or calm.

Over time, it doesn’t just become a thing you do. It becomes a thing you are. “I’m someone who takes a moment for myself in the morning.” “I’m someone who moves my body because it feels good.” “I’m someone who looks for beauty in nature.”

That’s how identity is formed, through what you return to.

What the Research Says

Research by Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky shows that small, intentional positive activities, especially when they’re meaningful and self-chosen, can significantly boost happiness. But what’s interesting is that how often you do something also matters.

A well-known gratitude study by Emmons and McCullough found that people who wrote down what they were grateful for once a week reported a bigger happiness boost than those who did it three times a week. Why? Because doing it less often helped the practice feel fresh and meaningful, instead of becoming routine and easy to overlook.

At the same time, other studies show that daily rituals, especially those that feel natural and self-initiated, can also have strong effects when they’re something you genuinely enjoy.

The takeaway here is this: there’s no one-size-fits-all formula. The best happiness ritual is the one that feels good to you. Whether it’s once a week or once a day, the key is that it feels intentional and personal, not forced or performative.

This Week’s Happiness Challenge: Design Your Ritual

This week, I want you to design your own personal happiness ritual. Something simple and small that works for you.

Step 1: Pick a Moment
Think moment in your day that already happens, like waking up, brushing your teeth, waiting in the car line, or showering at night, that will work for you.

Step 2: Choose a Small Action
What’s one thing that makes you feel good, centered, or calm?

Step 3: Repeat Daily for One Week
Commit to doing this one ritual this week. You decide how often. Figure out what works for you.

If it helped, keep it going. If not, adjust it until it fits.

Personally I have trouble turning my brain off at night. My ritual is no screens or tasks, household or otherwise, after I’ve taken my nightly shower. I can read, journal, play with my dog, hangout, whatever. My evenings feel completely different now.

I’ve created an expanded version of this challenge, and you can grab the worksheet inside the FREE Resources Hub.

You don’t need to overhaul your life to feel more happiness. You don’t need a major mindset shift or a new five-step plan. Sometimes, the most effective things you can do are small and simple. Once you find one ritual that works for you, don’t be surprised if you start creating more.

Thanks so much for spending this time with me. I’d love to hear what ritual you choose, tag me on Instagram or send me a message on my site.

And if you know someone who could use a little more joy in their day, share this episode with them.

Until next time, keep choosing happiness, one small ritual at a time.

I’ll see you next time.

😚🎶🪕