16. Anticipation: The Happiness of Looking Forward

16. Anticipation: The Happiness of Looking Forward

Welcome to the blog version of the Redefining Happiness Podcast. I'm Karen Castillo, and I'm excited to dive into a new three-part series on “Stretching Happiness Across Time.”

What if I told you that happiness doesn't just live in the present moment? What if you could actually stretch that good feeling backward and forward in time? Here's the thing, you can experience happiness before something good happens, while it's happening, and even after it's over. And when you start doing this intentionally it's like unlocking a whole new level of joy in your everyday life.

Today we're talking about the "before" part, anticipation. The happiness of looking forward to something

Take a moment to remember how it felt when you were really excited about something. Maybe it was a vacation, weekend plans, a concert, seeing a friend, or even a holiday. That rush of excitement, the little flutter in your stomach when you'd think about it. That sense of “I can’t wait!” is anticipation. And it's not just a nice little bonus feeling , it's actually an  underutilized source of happiness.

Anticipation is a form of positive forecasting. It’s basically your brain doing this amazing thing where it projects forward to a future moment of joy, and then it brings that joy back to right now. It's like your brain is a time traveler that goes to the future, takes a snapshot of something wonderful, and then comes back to the present like, "Hey! Look at this awesome thing that's coming!"

The research backs this up. Studies in positive psychology show that anticipation genuinely improves your mood and increases your overall sense of well-being, activating the dopamine system in your brain. Dopamine is associated with motivation and pleasure. But it’s not just about the high of getting something, it’s also tied to the pursuit of it. That’s why daydreaming about a fun event or imagining how something will go can actually feel as good, sometimes even better, than the event itself, because it’s giving your brain something to enjoy now. You're literally accessing happiness in advance.

Anticipation Isn’t Just for Big Things

When I talk about anticipation, your mind jumps straight to the big things: vacations, weddings, holidays, major life events. But the truth is, the most powerful use of anticipation comes from the small, repeatable things in your life: your weekly coffee date with your sister, that quiet Sunday morning when you get to sleep in and read the paper, the new episode of your show.

These are things you can look forward to every single week, or even every day. And when you treat them as something special, not only do you enjoy them more while they’re happening, but you also get to enjoy them before they happen. You're literally stretching the happiness forward.

Say you've got dinner plans with friends on Friday night. You could approach it one of two ways:

Option one: you put it on your calendar, go about your busy week, and show up when the time comes. That's fine, nothing wrong with that.

But option two: You let yourself actually look forward to it. You start thinking about it on Tuesday , "I can’t wait to hear about Kira’s new job." You text the group chat Wednesday about how excited you are. And tell them about that new appetizer you saw on their menu. You pick out an outfit Thursday night.

By the time Friday rolls around, you've already gotten four days of happiness from that one dinner. Four days! And you haven't even left your house yet.

How Anticipation Affects the Present Moment

Anticipation makes the present better. When you know there's something good coming up, even something small, it creates this sense of hope and lightness. It gives you something to hold onto when your day feels overwhelming. And balances out the tedium of the boring parts. It gives you something to look forward to and helps you stay anchored in the idea that good things are coming.

Anticipation activates purpose. People who are anticipating something positive are more productive, better at managing their emotions, and they're kinder to other people. Anticipation helps us pause and feel joy in advance. It’s a way to practice presence before the moment even arrives.

The best part? You don't have to manufacture this feeling. You don't have to fake it or force it. You just have to notice it. Most of us already have plenty of things to look forward to , we just don't pause long enough to actually enjoy the buildup. We're so focused on getting through our to-do lists and managing our stress that we blow right past these opportunities for joy.

What Stops Us From Looking Forward

Now, like most happiness strategies, anticipation works best when you're intentional about it. If you're completely overwhelmed by everything on your plate, if you're so stressed or distracted that you don't have any emotional bandwidth left, you're going to miss out on this benefit. It's hard to look forward to anything when you feel like you're drowning in the present.

A common block is perfectionism. If you're constantly worried that something won't live up to your expectations, if you're already stressing about all the ways it could go wrong, you can't enjoy looking forward to it. That pressure sucks all the fun out of it before the fun even starts.

Anticipation is supposed to be light. It's supposed to feel hopeful and easy. If you find yourself saying things like “I need this to go perfect,” that kind of thinking puts pressure on both the anticipation and the event itself. Instead, try thinking, “I’m looking forward to this. It doesn’t have to be perfect to be good.”

Simple Ways to Build More Anticipation Into Your Life

The good news is you don't need to wait around for major life events to start using anticipation. You can literally start building it into your life today. Here are some super simple ways to do it:

• Create rituals for yourself. Maybe it's Thai food on Friday nights, or a long walk every Sunday morning, or a fancy coffee on Wednesday afternoons. Repeating something you enjoy gives you something to look forward to regularly.
• Let yourself daydream. When something fun is coming up, give yourself over to some personal story time. Imagine how it'll feel, what you'll talk about, what you'll wear, how you'll get there. That’s not a waste of time. That’s happiness.
• Make it social. Share your excitement with someone! Text your friend about how pumped you are for your weekend plans. Get together to plan the details. Talk to your partner about the upcoming vacation. When you make anticipation social, it amplifies the whole experience.
• Get into the little details. Sometimes the joy really is in the little things. Choosing what playlist you'll listen to on the drive. Deciding where you want to sit. Picking out which book you'll bring. Lean into those little moments of possibility.
• Write it down. Keep a running list of what you're looking forward to this week. Even having just one small thing per day can shift your focus and your mood.

Try this journal prompt: "What am I looking forward to this week, and why?" That extra layer of reflection turns a passing thought into an intentional happiness practice.

Letting Go of the Desire to Control the Outcome

Anticipation isn't about control. It's not about making sure everything goes exactly according to plan. It's about enjoying the possibility, the potential, the "what if this is really wonderful?" The point is that you gave yourself permission to feel good before it happened.

If the dinner gets rescheduled or the event changes, you can still be glad you let yourself enjoy the lead-up. The emotional benefit wasn’t wasted. In fact, when you build your capacity for anticipation, you're training your brain to look for the good that's coming, even when plans change.

This Weeks Happiness Challenge

This week your goal is simple. Choose one thing, just one, that you’re looking forward to. It can be big or small. A trip, a visit, a quiet hour, a warm bath, a good meal. 

Then, each day leading up to it, do one small thing to connect with that future moment. Maybe you text someone about it. Maybe you prep something you'll need. Maybe you just spend two minutes visualizing how it'll feel. Maybe you write a quick note about it in your journal.

This will help you build the muscle of anticipation. To stop rushing from one thing to the next and instead pause and think, "You know what? I'm really looking forward to this."

Because that moment when you acknowledge your excitement is happiness. Not someday, not when the thing actually happens, but right now.

Wrapping Up

Anticipation is such a simple way to add more joy to your life without needing to change anything else. You don't need more money or more time or a completely different schedule. You just need to notice what you're already excited about and take the time to feel it.

You don't need the perfect plan. You don't need some massive event. You just need something to look forward to and the willingness to lean into that feeling instead of rushing past it.

Thanks for joining me for the first part of this series. In our next post, we’ll talk about what happens during the good moment, and how to stay present so you don’t miss it.

And don’t forget about the FREE Resources Hub, your go-to library for exercises, templates, and exclusive content to help you apply what you’re learning each week. Just click on the link below to get started. 

I’ll see you next time.

😚🎶🪕