Episode 6: The Two Selves of Happiness

Welcome back to Redefining Happiness. I’m Karen Castillo, and today we’re exploring an important, and often overlooked, idea about happiness:

We don’t just live our lives once—we live them twice.

There’s the version we experience moment by moment, and the version we remember and tell ourselves later. And understanding the difference between these two selves can change the way we make decisions, design our days, and ultimately, how happy we feel about our lives.

In this episode, I’ll walk you through the powerful concept introduced by psychologist Daniel Kahneman: the experiencing self and the remembering self. You’ll learn why the stories we tell about our lives sometimes feel disconnected from how our lives actually feel, and what you can do to bridge that gap.

We’ll talk about how mindfulness, gratitude, and redefining what we value can bring the two selves closer together, helping you build a life that not only looks good in memory, but feels good while you're living it.

This episode will help you rethink the way you pursue happiness, not by chasing milestones, but by shaping meaningful, satisfying days that leave both your experiencing and remembering selves fulfilled.

 What You'll Learn: 

• Why the experiencing self and remembering self sometimes disagree
• How the brain naturally forgets most moments, but stitches together a story from just a few highlights
• Why our remembering self often drives major life decisions
• How mindfulness and gratitude strengthen both daily living and memory
• How changing your definition of happiness can reshape both the life you live and the story you tell about it

 This Week’s Happiness Challenge: Tracking Your Two Selves

This week, I invite you to get to know your two selves a little better.

At the end of each day, take a minute to ask yourself: 

1. How was my day? What kind of day was it? 
2. Then think back over your day and take an inventory of it. Picture the different moments of your day. The people you talked to, the things you did that interested you, the ways that you entertained yourself, if you learned anything, if you accomplished anything, how tasty were your meals, did you help anyone, did you laugh? Play back the scenes of your day like a movie. Does your initial assessment line up with how you feel about your day when you take the time to really see it?

Resources Mentioned:

• [Free Download] Two Selves Reflection Worksheet – available now inside the Podcast Resources Hub
• Daniel Kahneman’s research on the experiencing self and remembering self

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Want to go deeper?

Get your free download of the Two Selves Reflection Worksheet in the Podcast Resources Hub, along with expanded versions of the challenge and bonus tools to help you build lasting happiness. Once you sign up, you’ll have lifetime access to every episode resource.

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Listen now and start creating a life that feels as good as it looks.